I can’t believe this little guy has been with us for almost a month now! Time is definitely flying by considering it’s a little bit like Groundhog Day around here. I thought I’d share a little bit about the first few weeks with Augustine, including some of our highs and lows.
Everyone says that when you have a baby you experience a love like you never have. It’s so true. When they placed Augustine on my chest for the first time it was like someone took my heart out but placed it right in front of me. I was in awe and felt happier than I ever have before in my life. It was such an indescribable feeling. I still can’t get over that this little person was once inside me, and is now here in the world. I had so many months to think about him, wondering what he’d look like, and now he’s here! During the first few days I also felt like I recognized him. He looked so familiar to me. Isn’t that weird? Not that I had seen another baby that looked like him, but that he was my baby and I would know him anywhere. It was a familiarity that was more than just physical; I felt really connected to him right away.
When it comes to sleeping, Augustine is still figuring out his days and nights. He’s definitely a lot more adapted now than he was in Week 1 but he’s still up every 1.5-2 hours to eat. Then, putting him back down to sleep can be a whole other challenge. Just last night, at 2am might I add, Augustine was wide awake after his feeding. There wasn’t even a hint of a yawn or a tired face. It wasn’t until an hour and a half later that he was finally able to sleep. And then we did it all over again an hour and a half later!
The lack of sleep has definitely been difficult for me to endure. During my pregnancy I was used to getting up several times at night to use the bathroom, but having to stay up for frequent long periods gets to you. Plus, when you are sleeping, you’re not sleeping soundly. Babies make a lot of noise for being tiny, so all their peeps and squawks prevent you from getting solid sleep. That’s probably been the biggest challenge for me because I absolutely love my sleep!
I’ve also been adjusting to my time no longer being my own. I was so used to being able to get into my car and go whenever I want. Lunch downtown? Sure! Last minute manicure? Why not! Afternoon shopping? Absolutely! Now my time is all about this little one, and while I wouldn’t have it any other way, it has been something to get used to. Once I start pumping I think I’ll have a little bit more freedom and I won’t be tied down to the house quite as much. You can definitely get a little stir crazy!
Between this huge life adjustment and not getting enough sleep I definitely got a little case of the baby blues. I really didn’t think I would but I couldn’t help it. In the evenings I would get so sad, dreading the nights, and I’d just cry. Everyone has told me it’s so normal but I’d still feel a little guilty. Here I am blessed with this sweet and special baby and I’m crying! It just didn’t seem right. I think when you’re not getting enough sleep, though, everything seems a lot more challenging. Luckily I’ve been feeling so much better in recent weeks and I know it will only get easier.
We’ve already started some family routines which has been so fun! Every day we’ll take a walk in the evenings and it’s so nice to get out of the house for some fresh air. Matthew and I will alternate between walking Ginger and pushing the stroller. It’s fun to walk around the neighborhood though and talk about what’s going on. It’s a great way to process everything and remember this special time. Bath time, while a little hectic, is also a fun routine. Augustine is such a water baby so he loves sitting in the bath. My favorite part is wrapping him up in a towel afterwards and sniffing his sweet baby skin. Babies really smell like heaven!
One of the biggest blessings has been having Matthew home. Thank goodness for paternity leave! He’s been so helpful in bringing me water while I’m nursing, helping change Augustine, and holding him while I can get in a quick shower. I have so much respect for single moms because doing it alone is not easy! I also have a lot of respect for moms with multiples, and moms with older children. If I’m exhausted now I can’t imagine having a 2 year old needing my attention too! At least now I can sleep when Augustine sleeps and not feel too bad about it! Matthew has been so sweet and wonderful though and I feel like I’ve fallen so much more in love with him, and I didn’t even think that was possible! He’s already such an incredible dad and I’m so excited for all the adventures he’s going to have with Augustine. I know they’re going to be the bestest of friends!
Every day I’m just amazed at how much Augustine is changing! When I pick him up in the morning I always think he feels a little heavier, and it’s not just because of a dirty diaper! This little guy has grown so much that we’ve already started buying 3 month clothing for him! He started at 8 pounds 9 ounces and now is over 9 pounds! I stocked up at Old Navy the other week because they’re having their Kids & Baby Sale {it’s still going on too!}. I love how many cute prints and outfits they have and the prices are soo good, especially when these little ones outgrow sizes so quickly! I got Augustine this adorable little jumper for fall and some gray booties to keep his tiny little toes warm. I already feel like I need to go back because I saw this hilarious onesie that he needs {it would make me smile at our 3am feedings!}. If you’re in the market for some cute kids and baby clothes, you gotta check out the sale!
Thank you all so much for your sweet comments and wishes for Augustine! It means so much to me! I usually try to respond to all my comments and emails but it’s been a little difficult to find the time lately. I promise I’ll get to them eventually. In the meantime, just know I’m incredibly grateful!
xox
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Mara’s Outfit: cardigan . dress .
Augustine’s Outfit: jumper . hat . booties
photos by Valorie Darling
