from the heart: Merry Christmas and reflecting on 2020

December 22, 2020

Labeled:

merry christmas - M Loves M @marmar

Merry Christmas, friends! My spirits are flying so high this week because it’s Christmas week. I love this time of year, but especially after this year, I’m really ready to soak up this holiday time. There’s been so much going on these days, on top of all the 2020 events, so to be able to focus on what this holiday is really about gives me a great amount of joy. God has been teaching me a lot of lessons this year, and one, in particular, is that I need to trust Him no matter the circumstance. When things have felt heavy, turning to Him has given me comfort and hope that are just impossible to find anywhere else.

On New Year’s Eve last year, one thing I really hoped from 2020 was simplicity. I can go into all the ways that 2019 was busy – adjusting to life as a mom of two for example, but that is exactly what 2020 brought for me. Simplicity. For better and for worse. Having no childcare support has meant I’ve had to step back from the blog and a lot of work projects, but it’s also allowed me to fully immerse myself into motherhood. These two kids are my greatest joy and I see how valuable my role as a mother really is. I’ve enjoyed the simple days at home, the additional face time with Matthew, and less pressure when it comes to work. But on the other hand, I’ve missed family and friends, I’ve seen people I know suffer, lose jobs, get sick, and struggle in many ways. I’ve longed for the connection that just doesn’t work through a video call. I’ve also missed connecting more with you, although to be honest that’s been its own challenge. I’m someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and I can’t do things halfway. I’m just not able to get on Stories and share things when I’m feeling low, uninspired, anxious or worried. So I cut back there too, which the Instagram algorithm loves to remind me of. But posting content while there’s so much hardship feels a little insensitive. Long story short, this wasn’t the simplicity I was hoping for, and yet, it’s been a lesson for me in how to learn, adapt, and ultimately trust God. Putting my faith in Him, and to be honest removing an idol that I had placed on my heart when it comes to social media and “likes.” That’s never where I want my worth to come from, not ever.

We’ve had to make some life changes this year which has also resulted in us moving around a bit this fall. We decided to look at this as an adventure but after almost 3 months of living out of a suitcase, I am so ready to be settled. Like, so ready! While I’m longing for things to feel more permanent and familiar, and oh to sleep in my own bed again, I’ve also appreciated the minimalism of not needing all our stuff. We’ve gotten by with what feels like a 5 outfit wardrobe, the most basic skincare products, and a few books and toys. This hasn’t been an ideal situation necessarily but it’s allowed me to focus on more important things.

I’ll be updating you all next week with some other life changes, and also some plans I have for this little site of mine. I’ve been posting on here for 12 years now if you can believe it. I don’t have any plans to hang up my blogging hat, but just make some intentional changes that I hope you all will love and appreciate as well. In the meantime though, please let me know if there’s certain content you’d like to see more or less of. I really value all of you so much and your opinions have helped guide many of my content decisions. Are you interested in style posts anymore? More recipes and home content? I’m all ears.

Until then, I have one more sponsored post going up this year. In advance, thank you for all that support! I love to find natural ways of incorporating sponsors I use and love and when you all like, comment and engage on those posts, that goes a long long way. Here’s a hint of what I’ll be featuring because I have a feeling it might sell out fast.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas with your families! I’m excited because I’m going to be doing all the cooking. I’m making this herby mushroom croissant stuffing again because it was a big hit on Thanksgiving, and I’m also baking this chocolate pie since I have pie dough in the freezer. Matthew and I aren’t doing gifts this year for us but we are so excited for the kids to open theirs! I have a feeling it’s going to be a very memorable Christmas!!

xox