Finding out the Gender vs Keeping it a Surprise

May 17, 2016

Trying to decide between finding out baby's gender or keeping it a surprise? 4 Blogger Moms weigh in with their own experiences

Before I got pregnant I always thought I would keep the gender a surprise. It was what my parents did for me, and plus I absolutely love surprises! However, when I got that positive sign on the pregnancy test, I couldn’t stop thinking boy or girl. Even though I love surprises, I’m also a huge planner. Being able to know the gender would help when it comes to planning the nursery, buying the tiny baby clothes, and of course it would help both me and Matthew prepare emotionally.

I reached out to some of my blogger friends for advice and I thought I’d share with you, in case you’re also trying to decide between finding out the gender vs keeping it a surprise. On the finding out side we have Rachel Parcell from Pink Peonies and Caroline Knapp from House of Harper. And the two mamas who wanted to wait to find out are Samantha Wennerstrom from Could I Have That? and Liz Adams from Sequins & Stripes. All four girls make such great points and definitely have me thinking!

Finding out the Gender vs Keeping it a Surprise

Rachel Parcell on finding out baby Isla's gender

Rachel Parcell, Pink Peonies

“For both of my babies I decided to find out the gender because I’m a planner and I wanted to know so I could get started working on the nursery and find cute clothes for them! My favorite color is pink so with Isla I really wanted to find out because I wanted to know if I could do a pink nursery or if I needed to do a neutral one. Finding out the gender helps me connect and bond with my baby, too, because it makes it feel like there’s a “he” or “she” in my belly instead of an “it” (something that has always bothered me is when people call their babies “it”)! I love being able to say things like “She just kicked me!” For me personally, the whole 9 months feels more real when I know the gender and it makes me more excited to meet this little baby girl or boy!!” – Rachel

Caroline Knapp on finding out baby Knox's gender

Caroline Knapp, House of Harper

“Waiting to find out the gender wasn’t ever even considered at our house.  Fred and I both couldn’t wait to find out what we were having with both my pregnancies.  I am too much of a planner to not find out.  It was important to me to starting thinking of names and decorating the nursery.  We both felt more of a connection to the baby once we knew the gender and could start calling him by name and picturing what he would look like.  For our second child, it was fun for Knox to know the gender, as well.  Once he knew he was having a baby brother I think it helped him understand more and identify with the baby in mommy’s belly.” – Caroline

Samatha Wennerstrom on waiting to find out baby Elin's gender

Samantha Wennerstrom, Could I Have That?

“When we first found out we were pregnant, there were loads of questions that arose. Among the long list of unknowns was this question—pink or blue? From the beginning I knew I wanted to wait. After watching a handful of friends have babies, some waiting and some not, I saw pros and cons to each option and felt drawn to saving the surprise. Because really how many times in our lives do we get a surprise like that? So we stuck it out, and yes it never left my mind the whole nine months. But that ended up being the biggest blessing that I only realized after the fact. My mind was so focused on the pending surprise I hardly gave thought to all the other ways your mind can take you about the delivery. I wasn’t stressed, I wasn’t scared, I was just really excited. I swear it helped in having a quick and easy labor. And for the record, all the old wives tales hold no water. Just about everyone “who is always right” told me I was carrying like it was a boy, that my cravings and other symptoms even pointed to a boy, and then, Elin arrived. I felt connected and completely in love with her from the moment they put her in my arms. And it was hands down the greatest moment of my life when I heard the words, “it’s a girl!” Another great reason to wait, after nine months of it being all about me, was that my husband was the one who got to announce the news to everyone. It was a sweet moment that he got to own, and boy was he proud.” – Samantha

Liz Adams on waiting to find out Baby Charlie's gender

Liz Adams, Sequins & Stripes

“Dave and I were skeptical about making the decision to wait to find out the gender of our baby. On the one hand, it was a little bit harder for me to connect to him because it was difficult for me to visualize what was to come. On the other hand, it made the day of so incredible exciting. It also gave me more motivation to push through the pain because I was so anxious to see what it was. Waiting to hear the doctor yell “it’s a boy!” was icing on the cake. As someone who is incredibly Type A, I also think not knowing the gender helped me to calm down when I got uncomfortable near the end. It was exciting and we already talk about doing the same for our future children, too.” – Liz

One of the things I love so much about blogging is how it’s connected me to some amazing and super supportive girls. I’m so grateful for the input from Rach, Caroline, Sam and Liz! Matthew and I definitely have some thinking to do!

I’d love to hear what you did, if you have any kids. Did you find out the baby’s gender or did you wait? Please share with me below!


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