A Different Way of Thinking About Friendships

June 12, 2018

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I love a feminine dress paired with a denim jacket! | M Loves M @marmar

Happy Tuesday everyone! I feel like I’m coming off a super fun birthday weekend. We did a lot of celebrating and a lot of eating. The best combo right? My best friend Lizzie is in town from Philadelphia and it’s been so incredible to see her and catch up in person. She moved shortly after her wedding and I’ve missed her so much. The other night we were sitting around talking about the importance of friendships and finding the people that just get you. We came up with a different way of thinking about friendships, that seems obvious in a lot of ways, that will hopefully resonate with some of you.

Denim jackets are such a wardrobe classic! | M Loves M @marmar This black leather tote bag is so perfect for work or travel! | M Loves M @marmar Floral sundresses are so pretty on warm summer days! | M Loves M @marmar These retro shoes are too cute! I love a good pair of clogs! | M Loves M @marmar Summer style done right! | M Loves M @marmar Easy and chic spring style! | M Loves M @marmar The perfect bridal shower or baby shower dress. Or brunch now that I think about it! | M Loves M @marmar A belted dress is such a flattering style! | M Loves M @marmar

A Different Way of Thinking About Friendships

So a little back story: Lizzie and I have been friends since we were 6 years old, when we met through our church’s catechism program. We instantly bonded over a love of books, musicals, and American Girl dolls. She’s been my kindred spirit since day 1 and so much of who I am now is because of the friendship we’ve built over the past 25 years. {side note: woah! That’s a lot of years!}

We were reflecting on the importance of finding friends who understand you and who you can be yourself with. These are people that bring out the best version of you. Growing up, especially during those impressionable teenage years, it can be so easy to accept toxic friendships and the insecurity that comes along with them. The truth is, though, you don’t need to accept these types of friendships at any point in your life.

Lizzie and I were talking about how just like we search for our romantic partner in life, we should also search for our friends in a similar way. You need to search, and keep searching, for the friends that make you feel like the best version of yourself. We should look for a lot of the same qualities in a friend that we do in a romantic partnersomeone that builds you up, makes you feel good about yourself and the world, gives you confidence, and inspires you. 

I feel like this different way of thinking about friendships has helped me so much without even realizing it. When I graduated from high school, I knew I would still be friends with Lizzie, Hanna and Pauline. Even though many people told us we would lose touch, we didn’t. We worked at our friendships, across miles, states and time zones, through many get-togethers, trips, letters, and phone calls. I’ve prioritized these friendships because they do bring out the best in me. On the other hand, I’ve had my fair share of friendships with people who have brought me down, fed my insecurities, and made me feel emotionally drained. Once I stepped back a bit from those friendships I gained much more clarity, perspective, and confidence. I realized who were the people I wanted in my life, those who added great value.

The empowering thing with friendships is that you have control to pick and cultivate them as you see fit. No matter where you are in life, I hope you can find the people that just get you. I also hope you have the confidence to recognize when a friendship isn’t working and move on. Just like when you find “the one,” and you know, you can have that same feeling when you find your tribe and your people.

I hope this post today encourages some of you to keep searching for your inner circle if you haven’t found it and I hope it gives you the courage to walk away from settling for anything less. I’m so lucky to have someone like Lizzie in my life and I truly hope you all do too!

xox


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